English Country Home
Photos: Knight Frank
Want to live there please.
- It’s not hard to fathom why so many men tend to assume they are great and that what they have to say is more legitimate. It starts in childhood and never ends. Parents interrupt girls twice as often and hold them to stricter politeness norms. Teachers engage boys, who correctly see disruptive speech as a marker of dominant masculinity, more often and more dynamically than girls.
- For example, male doctors invariably interrupt patients when they speak, especially female patients but patients rarely interrupt doctors in return. Unless the doctor is a woman. When that is the case, she interrupts far less and is herself interrupted more.
- This is also true of senior managers in the workplace. Male bosses are not frequently talked over or stopped by those working for them, especially if they are women; however, female bosses are routinely interrupted by their male subordinates.
- As adults, women’s speech is granted less authority. We aren’t thought of as able critics or as funny.
- Men speak more, more often, and longer than women in mixed groups (classrooms, boardrooms, legislative bodies, expert media commentary and, for obvious reasons religious institutions.)
- Indeed, in male-dominated problem solving groups including boards, committees, and legislatures, men speak 75% more than women, with negative effects on decisions reached. That’s why, as researchers summed up, “Having a seat at the table is not the same as having a voice.”
- Even in movies and television, male actors engage in more disruptive speech and garner twice as much speaking and screen time as their female peers.
- Listserve topics introduced by men have a much higher rate of response.
- On Twitter, people retweet men two times as often as women.
The best part though is that we are socialized to think women talk more. Listener bias results in most people thinking that women are hogging the floor when men are actually dominating. Linguists have concluded that much of what is popularly understood about women and men being from different planets, verbally, confuses “women’s language” with “powerless language.”
This preference for what men have to say, supported by men and women both, is a variant on “mansplaining.” The word came out of an article by writer Rebecca Solnit, who explained that the tendency some men have to grant their own speech greater import than a perfectly competent woman’s is not a universal male trait, but the “intersection between overconfidence and cluelessness where some portion of that gender gets stuck.” Solnit’s tipping point experience really did take the cake. She was talking to a man at a cocktail party when he asked her what she did. She replied that she wrote books, and she described her most recent one, River of Shadows: Eadweard Muybridge and the Technological Wild West.The man interrupted her soon after she said the word Muybridge and asked, “And have you heard about the very important Muybridge book that came out this year?” He then waxed on, based on his reading of a review of the book, not even the book itself, until finally a friend said, “That’s her book.” He ignored that friend (also a woman) and she had to say it more than three times before “he went ashen” and walked away. If you are not a woman, ask any woman you know what this is like, because it is not fun and happens to all of us.
Last week as I sat in a cafe, a man in his 60′s stopped to ask me what I was writing. I told him, a book about gender and media and he said, “I went to a conference where someone talked about that a few years ago. I read a paper about it a few years ago. Did you know that car manufacturers use slightly denigrating images of women to sell cars? I’d be happy to help you.” After I suggested, smiling cheerily, that the images were beyond denigrating and definitively injurious to women’s dignity, free speech, and parity in culture he drifted off
In the wake of Larry Summers’ “women can’t do math” controversy several years ago, scientist Ben Barres wrote publicly about his experiences, first as a woman and later in life, as a male. As a female student at MIT, Barbara Barres was told by a professor after solving a particularly difficult math problem, “Your boyfriend must have solved it for you.” When several years after, as Ben Barres, he gave a well-received scientific speech, he overhead a member of the audience say, “His work is much better than his sister’s.” Most notably, he concluded that one of the major benefits of being male was that he could now “even complete a whole sentence without being interrupted by a man.”
“Stop interrupting me.”
“I just said that.”
“No explanation needed.”
Oh gosh. My last boss at work would literally ask me a question, wait for me to start answering, and then once I was two or three words into the answer he’d start answering himself over me, blatantly ignoring everything I was saying. To say nothing of his other bullshit, like trying to explain to me why it’s ok to cut off women’s heads in product photos. (I was a web designer.)
At any rate, this stuff is so hard to remember, but I wish I had said something to that extent more often. This is really important.
Abandoned dog that lived under a dumpster for 11 months is rescued and adopted [x]
SOLVE THE ISSUES!
*goes to bed at 2am instead of 5am* wow, my life is so in order right now. i’m making such good decisions for myself and my body and my soul and im so in love with myself for doing this
This is actually me thooooough.
Mommy teaching babby easier water drinking way because drinking water is hard experience u get it in your nose. Jesus how she puts her paw on his head in the second one. Such concern and love.
THIS IS THE CUTEST THING I HAVE EVER FUCKING SEEN FROM CATS EVER
This made me happy. I needed this today.
Dead. So dead.
Same as above comment by cabbyinyourface ^^^
First person to buy an iPhone 6 in Perth immediately drops it
This brings me joy.
OH MY GOD. ITS THE CUTEST THING IVE EVER SEEEEEEEEEN.
my favorite thing about england is that the word pulp doesnt exist
$2,500.00 Titanium and Gold Lip Pearl Linerlock
This knife is from Suchat’s New Diamond Edition. This liner locking folder features a carved Robert Calcinore Mosaic Damascus blade. The handle has carved titanium bolsters, carved gold lip pearl scales with pink/green/yellow stone inserts, carved matching Damascus rear bolsters, and carved and anodized titanium liners and back-spacer.
I would carry this around so good.